I rarely think things through.

You know how most people come to a decision after carefully weighing their options and possibly discussing their plan with others? I don’t. I can probably most accurately be described as the type of person who jumps into things headfirst without looking first. When it comes to home improvement projects, I generally think, “Oh, I can do that,” start the job, then have the “oh crap” moment. Or, even more likely, I never have that moment and continue plowing forward thinking I’ll figure it out as I go.

So how does this pertain to my current panic attack situation? I’ll tell you.

Mitchell has developed a fondness for birds. He watches them, he chases them, he talks to them, and he giggles at them. Basically, he loves them. So, like the totally indulging parent I am, I spent the Menard’s gift card I got for Christmas that was earmarked for carpet in the basement on five new bird feeders, bird food, and a couple bird feeder poles. (True to form, I ignored the recommended tools to install the pole and it’s now a little crooked. Or a lot crooked. I don’t think the birds mind.) Anyway, Mitchell and the dogs are very much enjoying themselves watching and chasing  the swarms of birds and squirrels descending upon our yard.

Here’s the problem. I’m a little iffy about birds. Specifically, multiple birds. Especially black birds.

I have no idea why, I’ve never even seen the Alfred Hitchcock movie. As a kid, my little sister had some evil birds and I accidentally killed the one nice bird she had, so I bet that affected me somehow (it’s all her fault). But really, nothing traumatic or anything. And it’s not like I think they’re going to hurt me. But…oi…I get pretty tense when birds are around.

Basically, when someone else looks out my window, they probably see something like this:

I, however, see something like this:

Terrifying.

There are these big black birds that keep starting fights with each other and all the other birds. I keep hearing a commotion from the backyard, and when I venture to the window, I see a swarm of birds flying around. Every time, I get a mild panic attack. But Mitchell giggles uncontrollably. So the birds stay. And I’ll just avoid the window.

By themagnificentms

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