This dog is pretty much the best.

We got so, so lucky with Laika. Sure, she’s probably responsible for some neighbor kids’ nightmares, and yeah, she’ll eat any food less than six feet off the ground, but how many dogs would put up with this day after day?

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She’s so tolerant of him. It’s probably only because 90% of the time he’s leaving a trail of some sort of food product, but it’s still a pretty hard thing to be this tolerant of him lately, because Mitchell has decided he’s a toddler. I really thought we were already dealing with a toddler and I was thrilled that it was so much easier than I expected, but it turns out, no. He was just toying with us.

These pictures are a result of a meltdown. Not a temper tantrum, but a meltdown. These are two completely different things. Temper tantrum = angry. Meltdown = sad. This morning, Mitchell was completely devastated that Laika wouldn’t give him a hug.To be clear, he didn’t want to give her a hug, he wanted HER to hug HIM. How does a dog hug a kid? I pointed out that she probably didn’t want to hug him because he hit her. Yep, my sweet, cuddly, super lovey little boy has started hitting. Here’s the problem: he isn’t doing it out of anger, and he isn’t trying to cause pain. He thinks he’s playing. He runs up, hits Laika or Kingsley or Rosie, and runs away laughing, expecting them to chase him. Either he thinks he’s playing or he’s a sociopath. It could really go either way. I’m pretty sure this can be traced to the disastrous Father’s Day baseball game at which a 7-year-old played push/hit tag with him, but that could also just be me trying to make excuses for his behavior so I can continue thinking he’s pretty close to perfect. But whatever the cause, I can’t get him to quit. I started out doing time-out every time, then I read something that said he was probably doing it for attention so it would work better to show lots of attention to the victim, so I tried that, but then it turned into a thing where he’d hit Laika and immediately go, “Oh, poor Laika! You want boo boo pack? Hug? Kiss? Sorry!” So today we’re back to time-out.

Anyway, he got so mad that Laika wouldn’t give him a hug that he decided he needed to give her a BIG HUG. I’m not entirely sure Laika appreciates it, but she tolerates it. I may have “accidentally” dropped some food on the ground as a reward for her.

Someone might need to “accidentally” drop a Xanax on the floor for me as a reward pretty soon. Seriously, ever since Saturday this child has been on the Bipolar Express. One minute he’s clingy and can’t bear to be two feet away from me and wants nothing more than to lay on my lap. The next minute, he’s running non-stop, jumping off the couch, and, if he is really amped up, running up to Rosie and hitting the top of her head and laughing like it’s the best game ever. The very next moment he’s laying on the floor with Rosie, giving her giant hugs, kisses, and saying “I love you too! I miss you!” Seriously, I just can’t keep up with him. It’s so hard to figure out why he’s doing what he’s doing when his entire personality changes from minute to minute! I’m starting to think I need to start each day with an orange juice mimosa big glass of champagne with a splash of orange juice. Or else maybe install a padded room. For me or Mitchell, I don’t know.

Ok, maybe I won’t become an alcoholic. But I can’t guarantee that I won’t celebrate each and every nap time with a pile of candy bar wrappers by my side.

By themagnificentms

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